When these photos were taken we were young and naive, but already some of us had lost what is most precious to a girl. Two had thrown it away with great abandon and the others would in time give it lovingly to their first true love.
It didn't matter in those days, it wasn't important, only now in the tomorrow of these lives does it matter. Not the losing but in the way we lived our lives. We were disrespectful to ourselves, we went into situations that were not safe for any of us. More than one of us "dated" inappropriate men, too old for us. Looking back these lolita type relationships fill me with disgust, how could we have allowed ourselves to be swayed by these men. As I look now at young girls I know why. Girls seem to have a need in them to be liked, to fit in and only the very strongest girls make it through without giving in to peer pressure whether by drugs, drink or body.
If I could go back and do it again I hope I would have the strength to be strong to study, to concentrate on my learning and leave the social side behind, I procrastinate much on the subject but I also now I would never be strong enough and I would be swayed by whatever is popular at the time.
I was in the company of a woman on Saturday night who like myself was on the periphary of drug tasking in the 70's and 80's. Both of us had a shocking taste of the underside of this world, she came across an overdose in a friend and I saw the results in my sister. This put us both off ever trying drugs. No amount of shocking discoveries stopped me down other routes of self destruction. But no matter how hard I tried to die it wasn't to be and now I am thankful for that.
Tomorrow, my tomorrow now, I am strong, I can live in this world in my own way without being swayed by peer pressure.

Family fun at Barryscourt

The boys didn't really want to go. Teenagers don't like doing things with parents. But they loved it. Barryscourt Castle 2009 was a hit for them

Ross is very much his own man, at 21 he is a slim athlete with a shock of blond mohawk. He organised his own 21st party and invited his friends from college and old friends from boarding school. At my suggestion he opened the invitation to his cousins, none have bothered to reply to him, messages via third parties to me have come, finally a reply direct to me from an email I sent months ago.
I am glad he has friends that he can rely on, the very few grownups he invited have all had to decline, even his own mother needs to be in two other places tomorrow evening, but I am making the effort and turning up to support him.
I met up with him today as he had a specialist appointment in the hospital where I work, he had wanted me to go in with him but I was too busy, I managed to get the end of the conversation and everything was well. Another specialist accosted him on the corridor and asked was he coming to him or was his brother due, in his own inimitable style he replied " No, it's my brother, keep away from me!" His brother had forgotten his appointment and will have to attend next week. Joy, joy, joy, no mother should have to force eyes open in order to put drops in eyes. Am I glad I am leaving that hospital.
Getting back to Ross, he gave a speech at a disability conference on Monday, he said he got rapturous applause and an invitation to try out for a track team. I am sure if I had been present I would have cried and made a total show of him. Lucky for him I was busy - again.
When did I decide to be busy - even as I write this I should be somewhere else, I remember scoffing at Bridie, my friend as she just went from place to place late everywhere but with such beguiling excuses you couldn't help but forgive her.

Ross is 21 on Saturday, I created him 21 years ago. He is and will always be my greatest accomplishment, but what he accomplishes now is down to his own grit and determination - no one would dare call him a vegetable in a dark corner and get away with it now - A doctor once said that to me in his presence, how she lived past that sentence I have no idea

Anyway to Ross - Cheers Darling - I love and cherish you and am really so very proud of you. My next story is dedicated to you, son