hautrev

The truth is I am a fraud. I live on the surface in a family with children, with friends, with animals. Underneath the tumultuous world of hautrev is once again sucking me in. I find it hard to keep up my commitments whilst listening to ever increasing wailing and moaning. It's my own fault, I allowed hautrev in after many years without it, loving the feeling of hearing the sounds of other people's lives was comforting at first.

Was it because I was listening for something specific that I heard more, I heard everything. It could drive me insane, I know this, elderfem was very clear on this subject. She wanted me to hide it, harness it and then when the time was right use it for the destruction of the Charter system. It was she who arranged for my journey to Dromdrevc, my art was seen by some minor politabub at her request. Elderfem manipulated the whole deal, none of them saw it, those stupid men with their colours and gowns, none of them saw in me their endworld.

I am searching for more, I am looking for refugees from the wars of concavity, I am looking for my co-conspirators. How did I survive and they didn't? They could be on another planet, wider and wider I fling my mind open trying to catch a phrase, a word that means I have found them.

Hautrev appeared three years ago, I so wish it had come sooner. I have had inklings about certain people, in the media, singers, poets. We were a creative bunch. Piotreya was the inventor, creating vast circuitry, when a new, for earth innovation comes on-line I wonder if she was there. Japan would suit Piotreya, she loved the order in Dromdrevc, she seemed to like the rules, it contained her. Yandryl, sweet, little Yandryl, I read poetry extensively, just to see if I can find him. I imagine him placed in the wrong family on earth, suffering not only for his art but for his size and wit.

They didn't have hautrev, we could all mindspeak, but they couldn't hear thoughts, only the messages intended for them. Elderfem called it an irritation, she called me an irritation, something that had to have a purpose. She consulted with the wirdmal, man of many words, and he found the endworld vision. Elderfem interpreted it as me being the cause for the wars. She was wrong, Pio, Yan and I merely knew they were coming and made plans to escape, using the limited power of concavity.

People were banished from Zylmor using the pod system, Pio tweaked it a little so we went further and we went to specific, very specific places. She explained that the banished arrived on planets as minormals and fems but not as newborns of the species, they were found wandering in wastelands or forests and were questioned extensively. Using her skills she had us arrive as newborns into newborn facilities at appropriate times for the gestation period of the planet's fems. Sounded complicated to me, then, now as I look back on my earth life I am amazed at what she achieved.

My earthmother, the nurturer of my young body, knew I wasn't her baby. I didn't realise this until hautrev came upon me and I read her thoughts. All became clear to me, not matter what I did, she knew. Instinct, she must have had a honed instinct skill in those days, later after years of prescription mindblowing drugs she had little left. Pio had thought of everything except a mother's instincts.

Maybe if I had Pio's brain I could reign in hautrev, look in specific places, use the telecommunications on earth. I can't though and am left with wave after wave of weltschermz, the whole earth seems sad, depressed, dying. Sanity is hard to hold onto when the ebb is rising, I will try one more sweep then get on with my chores for the day.

ramblings from myspace

Written in 2004/6

Pootlesuzie's Blurbs

About me: Growing up slowly in Zylmor years. Have lived on your earth for 41 of your years Things I like INTP Heroes of Might and Magic Zuma Discworld Working Playing Computer Games Walking Running Jogging Trampoline Lancashire Sheffield Ireland Spain Jeeps Vimto Manning's Bakery Cinema Skipping Shuffling Through Autumn Leaves Reading Playing with Kids Cooking Logic Puzzles Lateral Thinking Puzzles Marmite and peanut butter and lemon juice on black bread Chickens Who I'd like to meet: any one else that survived the Zylmor genocide of Domdrevc. Concavity executioners General SPECIALIST SUBJECTS, Zylmor survival of the few after the genocide of Domdrevc, Zylmor - the historical context of the Wars of Concavity, Space Thinking, EARTH SPECIALTIES, travelling- will go anywhere anytime - madagascar or to see your latest spaceship, music, kids, trampolining, yoga, gaelic football, aerobics, gym, jogging,??? running, walking, reading, computer games - as if it needs to be said, little house on the prairie Music Girl Music, Female Music, Women Music, Dykemusic, but not ladymusic, Dixie Chicks, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Aerosmith, Queen, The Adverts, The Clash, The Ramones, The Beatles, Rush, The Specials, Garth Brooks, Pogues, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Damned, The Vapors, Shania Twain, PiL, Elvis Costello, Stiff Little Fingers, All Saints, The Jam, Billie Holliday, TLC, GBH, Stranglers, The Sawdoctors, UK Subs, Sham 69, Cockney Rejects, Chumbawumba, Angelic Upstarts, Bow Wow Wow, X-ray Specs, Lonestar, Generation X, The Slits, Hazel O'Connor, Sid Vicious, The Ruts, The Members, 999, Will You, Vice Squad, Kirsty MacColl, Ewan macColl, Oldham Tinkers, No Dice, Spizzenergi, Athletico Spizz 80, Notsensibles, Flogging Mary, Waterboys, Films Grease, Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Carribean, Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music, Die Hard,, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, To Sir with Love, Breaking Glass, The Jazz Singer, To Sir with Love 2, Television Little House on the Prairie, Seventh Heaven, Judging Amy, Grey's Anatomy, ER, The League of Gentlemen, Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, Desperate Housewives, Trap Door, Biederbecke Affair, Podge and Rodge, Berk, ANTM, the twins from BB - delicious, Books Harry Potter, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Jonathan Kellerman, Roald Dahl, James Patterson, Philip Pullman, Sue Grafton, Cook Books, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, The Bourne Supremacy, Jodi Picoult, Anne MacCaffrey, Sara Paretsky, Eoin Colfer, Val McDermid, Jamie Oliver, Agatha Raisin, Peter O'Donnell, Peter Robertson, J.K. Rowland, Diane Wynne Jones, Delia Smith, Elizabeth David, James Martin, Mine, Heroes The man that saved me from drowning 30 years ago, Hazel O'Connor, Sean Gallagher, Freda Kinmond, Alien Living Amongst Us ---- Yep I'm from Zylmor Female 46 years old Kerry Ireland

premise for a story

July 2008, Talenkynic, writing, le posh

I was..in Galway this afternoon relaxing and chillin' outside 

Taafe's when a trio of le posh sat down at the next table. Fortuitously i noticed that we had met before about hour before on the way back from An Spiddeal they were behind and the two in front had been having an animated discussion. I had pondered on what the subject of the argument had been because they both had a look of walking barefoot into a sludgy pice of dog leavings letting it settle between each toes whilst the smell pervaded upwards to their nasal area. I had names them Lemon Bottom and Lemon Bottom Mammy. At the time I didn't realise the third generation was in the car.

Taafe's was very busy it being  Race Week and the SawDoctors playing last night - the reason I was in  Galway - every one was there people i hadn't seen in  ten years, bless them they looked so  old - don't have the good skin gene like me !!!

Any way I digress - the ladies who lunched beside me were an utter inspiration and a new tale of female bullying across the generations has been born. The outline has been written and i am super charged about writing it

And as a double whammy, my old music teach has dropped by and added as a friend - welcome Bob to my Zylmor existence....

Talenkynic remembers Zylmor

The tension inside the bubble of Dromdrevc was exhilirating. After years of painting portraits of politicians and rulers I was alive. My natural artform of landscapes, based only on images created by others on Zylmor or still images captured by what you would think of as photographs but with more depth was despised in the city. My family lived on the far continent in the open, I communicated through mind-talk weekly, mother complained about the dust, father moaned about poverty and my sibs, Tessina and Zeuteronomy chatted about friends I had known, at the time of the genocide I had been exhiled from them for seven of your years and had grown from the child prodigy of eight to an almost fully developed female of fifteen. The last year had been particularly fraught with anxiety to escape as my time of captivity was over as soon as I reached sixteen. Credit-bars were delivered monthly to my life-parents as payment for the enslavement of their youngest child. As a small child Dromdrevc was awe-inspiring, a giant atmospheric bubble guarded against the elements, tall towers of housing units, business blocks and in the centre, a tower of shiny metal that reached up to the very tip of bubble, it was in here, the Royal Campus that I was to live and work. Work, I discovered was not to use my natural talent of reproducing vast canvases of landscsapes from memory or mythology, but was to catalogue an ever increasing number politabubs and the ruling charters. Charters were families who could prove their lineage back to the beginning of time, there were usually three or four clans living in the campus, they were a vain bunch, each portrait was proudly hung in the main concourse and because of their jealousy, repeats were frequent. One man-crown had a portrait booked every season, every colour found in Dromdrevc had been used in his costumes, each one more extravagant than the last as his girth also expanded. It was in his chamber I first heard about the Concavity, and the Galymonter people who yearned the power of Concavity. Galies as they were known had come from the neighbouring planet of Prusson, at first wanting to trade and as the polit-bubble was on seasonal break the Charters met with them and thrashed out a trade route between the peoples but their vanity made them show off the Concavity Orb, and exaggerated the properties of the laws of the index of refraction, with the wave velocities over-rated. I had never believed in the power of the concavity orb and had joined with other non-believers, we met in the concourse only three of us at a time and discussed possibilities. We were the brightest minds on all of Zylmor, punished we felt for being so intelligent by enslavement as children. We pondered on if this was to knock our inquisitive minds to an imaginary block as the tasks we were given numbed us. Piotreya, an inventor of vast electrical circuits spent her time making and changing light sources for the Charters and Yandryl was poet and playwright, he voice could lift you to the highest peak, he wrote ditties for the politabubs and their families so instead of being stirred by his words we slept by them. We had all completed our formal education in our early years while our sibs were still studying, attaining levels of expertise we had mastered at three or four. The Charters did not like us meeting together, so we kept the meeting light, with fake linguistics to suggest a frothy impromptu tryst rather than the reality of theoretical discussions on propulsion, experimentation and the politabubble. Each of my portraits contained a symbol of rebellion to inspire the unruly. Piotreya linked systems together until she had voyeuristic control over the whole subsystem within the bubble ans within each ditty that Yandryl created was one phrase that did not fit but was code for our mini rebellion.

Rainbows IV

My homeplace, my homestead was in an isolated area in the west of Dromdrevc. It took three days to travel to the capital in the pod, three days of looking out at the sidings go by. On Zylmor our transportation system used channels like earth canals with no water, during the night when it rained these channels were used to divert water for use in production of gas. transportation ceased in the evening, pods were raised to ground level during the night and the water rushing underneath was soothing. Those three days and nights were the only time I spent alone on Zylmor, I was escorted to and from lessons

rainbows III

We didn't have rainbows on Zylmor, it didn't rain during the day, the first time I remember experiencing rain on earth I thought the sky was falling in, it made no sense to me.
In Dromdrevc we were in a climate controlled bubble so we saw neither good or bad weather, the lights dimmed towards evening and brightened again in the early morning. To be honest it could have been any length of time, I don't recall days getting shorter or longer as they do on earth. in my homeplace it rained during the night, I would hear the pitter pat on the roof of the homestead, I call it a roof but it wasn't a separate structure like here, it was integral to the building. Days on Zylmor were bright but chilly, we could never have considered wearing as little as a t-shirt outside, we were always wrapped up and because of the air composition we had breathers on always. Inside the buildings piped gas kept us suitably aired. I don't remember playing out in the street as children in Kerry do, we went to lessons, came home and performed chores or homelessons. There was no time for play or chasing rainbows

Worry over Tomorrow

Of course sleep evaded me, each time I dipped towards a wave of slowing pulse and regular breathing a thought would pop up causing my heart to race and my stomach to turn. Anxiety is your word for it. I would often get it in Dromdrevc, my mind-speak was of the level hautrev a higher level than the average proponent, although I kept it a secret it meant sometimes I would inadvertently listen to others speaking. I discovered that this wasn't punished making me suspect the Charters and politabub did not know or understand hautrev, the Charters could only mouth speak and the politabubs were suck ups.
It wasn't an easy thing to control, when it first started I still lived with my parents, I was about four and one morning awoke to screeching in my head, simultaneously I heard a boy crying and my parentfem telling her lifemal she was having another baby. Wow what a lot to hear, I also heard that elderfem was coming so I hastened to be dressed and brushed ready to be berated for not being smart/pretty/long/short/thin/fat but at least I would be hygenifresh and in clean clothes. I was having a new sibling, oh and my sibmal was in trouble I had better go and sort him and get him ready for the elderfem barbs.
On a subsequent visit, elderfem told me I had the gift of hautrev. We had gone for a walk along the dust channel near my homeplace. The whirring swirling patterns of the dust at it traveled to the collection point were mesmerising me when elderfem stopped me looked deep in my blue eyes and started to mind-speak whilst watching for my reaction. "You hear things, things you shouldn't, important and non important you hear everything. It will be time soon for your naming and I want you to take the name Talenkynic, it is an ancient word, so ancient that only a few of us know the meaning. It is not used often, but it will be yours"
"Does it mean something, elderfem"
"An irritation, minorfems are an irritation, especially a bright one like you. It's meaning is found in the creation of Zylmor, it means end of world."
"Thank you, well I don't mean thank you but at least I have a name even if it means I endworld"
"Listen to me, you will be going from here one day, an opportunity will form there, but for now that is of no consequence. You need to control the hautrev or you will get caught out, crying over a sib that did not breathe when you weren't told, and getting ready for my arrival these things will find you out. Your talent, Talenkynic needs to be hidden, from everyone, try to ignore the mundane, the tame animals, stupid fools and minormals and fems. We will not talk of this again, you need to implant the name Talenkynic into parentmal's mind, it will be a test - pass it and I will reward you, now go be a minorfem while you can"
Our words on Zylmor were shorter with less meaning than on earth but this was a translation close to the truth because I was there but fantasy too because my mind as everyone's warps over time making the "me" a goody and everyone else baddies. Making us look good when we really should hide in shame.
I think the hautrev is coming back I am getting waves of feelings, not my own, but others, sad people, lost and found people, as I think more on this I don't seem to get many waves of happiness. Earthpeople are a miserable bunch.

The sun shone hot beams across Tralee Bay, warm fuzzies were flowing through me when I spotted these delightful dandelions. Much maligned in modern west Earth, to me they are like little suns reflecting and wallowing in the power of the sun.
Back on Zylmor child slaves created flowers from fragile polymers in a variety of shades of red, with green stems, to look at earth flowers in all colours of the rainbow I always smile. Once a long time ago in Earth years I thought I met another survivor from the Wars of Concavity.
I was sitting in my attic room of my Earth parent listening to the space between each radio station when I heard a song, "Flowers are red young man, green leaves are green" This was back before internet and by the time I found someonewho had heard of the song and found out the artist, he was dead. Harry Chapin died in a mysterious car crash days before I had his publishers telephone number. On his headstone I later discovered,

"Oh if a man tried

To take his time on Earth

And prove before he died

What one man's life could be worth

I wonder what would happen

to this world"

I became obsessed with his lyrics, feeling somewhere in every song was a little of Dromdrevc.