Worry over Tomorrow

Of course sleep evaded me, each time I dipped towards a wave of slowing pulse and regular breathing a thought would pop up causing my heart to race and my stomach to turn. Anxiety is your word for it. I would often get it in Dromdrevc, my mind-speak was of the level hautrev a higher level than the average proponent, although I kept it a secret it meant sometimes I would inadvertently listen to others speaking. I discovered that this wasn't punished making me suspect the Charters and politabub did not know or understand hautrev, the Charters could only mouth speak and the politabubs were suck ups.
It wasn't an easy thing to control, when it first started I still lived with my parents, I was about four and one morning awoke to screeching in my head, simultaneously I heard a boy crying and my parentfem telling her lifemal she was having another baby. Wow what a lot to hear, I also heard that elderfem was coming so I hastened to be dressed and brushed ready to be berated for not being smart/pretty/long/short/thin/fat but at least I would be hygenifresh and in clean clothes. I was having a new sibling, oh and my sibmal was in trouble I had better go and sort him and get him ready for the elderfem barbs.
On a subsequent visit, elderfem told me I had the gift of hautrev. We had gone for a walk along the dust channel near my homeplace. The whirring swirling patterns of the dust at it traveled to the collection point were mesmerising me when elderfem stopped me looked deep in my blue eyes and started to mind-speak whilst watching for my reaction. "You hear things, things you shouldn't, important and non important you hear everything. It will be time soon for your naming and I want you to take the name Talenkynic, it is an ancient word, so ancient that only a few of us know the meaning. It is not used often, but it will be yours"
"Does it mean something, elderfem"
"An irritation, minorfems are an irritation, especially a bright one like you. It's meaning is found in the creation of Zylmor, it means end of world."
"Thank you, well I don't mean thank you but at least I have a name even if it means I endworld"
"Listen to me, you will be going from here one day, an opportunity will form there, but for now that is of no consequence. You need to control the hautrev or you will get caught out, crying over a sib that did not breathe when you weren't told, and getting ready for my arrival these things will find you out. Your talent, Talenkynic needs to be hidden, from everyone, try to ignore the mundane, the tame animals, stupid fools and minormals and fems. We will not talk of this again, you need to implant the name Talenkynic into parentmal's mind, it will be a test - pass it and I will reward you, now go be a minorfem while you can"
Our words on Zylmor were shorter with less meaning than on earth but this was a translation close to the truth because I was there but fantasy too because my mind as everyone's warps over time making the "me" a goody and everyone else baddies. Making us look good when we really should hide in shame.
I think the hautrev is coming back I am getting waves of feelings, not my own, but others, sad people, lost and found people, as I think more on this I don't seem to get many waves of happiness. Earthpeople are a miserable bunch.